We never expected this lifestyle to become a choice for either of our daughters, and the initial shock left us uncertain about how to move forward. What had we done to cause her to make this choice? The scriptures surely condemn the lifestyle. We questioned what it meant for grandchildren, how to adapt our lives and beliefs, and how others would react. Despite many mixed emotions, my heart aches for her—she's still my beloved child.
Our Foundation
We were raised in the Seventh-day Adventist Church, attended its schools, and stayed active members. We joyfully fulfilled our hopes of marriage and starting a family, and our life together continues to be fulfilling. Guided by our parents' example of marital partnership, we made our vows with the intention to set a similar example for our own children.
We welcomed two daughters into our family and began preparing for their upbringing. From the outset, we prioritized introducing them to Christian values and teachings. Providing them with access to Christian education was carefully considered as a significant aspect of their development when the appropriate time arrived.
Years of Milestones
The years spent nurturing our daughters at home were filled with countless milestones and moments of pride. We celebrated each success, whether it was participating in the 13th Sabbath Programs, attending teacher conferences, or accompanying them on field trips. Their involvement in Pathfinders brought joy and opportunities for growth.
Birthdays and graduations became cherished family events, each one a testament to their development and the love and joy that filled our busy lives as our daughters grew into young women.
High school and college graduations represent significant milestones in higher education. It is rewarding to observe these young women as they develop and prepare to assume their roles within society, poised to contribute meaningfully and establish their presence.
As our daughters grew up, we expected them to make their own choices and hoped they would seek guidance from God. That gave us confidence in their direction.
When Distance Grew
Disagreements and miscommunications contributed to tension and created distance within the relationship. Over time, we experienced both positive and negative developments. Challenges arose that strained the relationship, particularly with the child who had previously expressed a strong commitment to remain close. A candid conversation did not resolve matters as intended; instead, defensive barriers were erected to protect against further emotional discomfort. Although efforts such as prayer were made, an underlying sense of heaviness persisted.
Time went on, and we stayed in touch, offering support and guidance as needed. With open arms and no expectations, we remained loving parents—never pushy or condescending—and prayed daily for her well-being and spiritual journey. Whenever possible, we reached out, encouraged by family members who also supported her in prayer.
Love Without Conditions
Together with her supportive sister, we always wanted the best for her, regardless of her lifestyle choices. We remain loving and welcoming, cherishing every time we can connect. She is still our daughter—valued, talented, and important to us. Our role is not to judge, but to love.
Every reader should recognize that this lifestyle comes with challenges that many may not understand. It's important to be receptive, share openly, forgive, and value others, remembering the significance of care and compassion. Whether it's a loved one or friend, support is essential.
A Word to Every Parent
You may desire that your loved one choose a different path in life. It is important to recognize that change is often influenced by personal conviction and support systems. Many believe that spiritual transformation plays a significant role in personal growth. Individuals have unique needs and, through reflection and aspiration, meaningful change can occur for both you and your loved ones.
It is beneficial to seek and appreciate quality time with your loved one, as such connections are valuable for everyone's well-being.
Remember — God is the Heart Changer! He knows just what we each need. As we long for Him, we will be changed!
Share love at every opportunity! Get together and talk! Have lunch! Share needs. Most of all, be a listener!